first version in a discussion in 11/2021
last changes: 1/2022


God realization


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About proving God and religion

Pope Gregory the Great collected to prove that his faith was true. Likewise did others in different religions.

Today one can say “that there is nothing to study because spirituality is intangible and beyond the senses.” That is so stupid, as it is simply not true!

"Time after time, I was told I can’t talk about spirit or spirituality until I prove the existence of 'spirit' or 'God!'"

Of course this is not possible. First you have to think and talk about it, before you are able to decide how to start meaningful research concerning spirit or God.

I am a spiritual healer and when I listen what my patients tell me about other spiritual healers, shamans, their own spiritual practice and experiences and conventional therapists, I am very shure, that the typical clearvoyant person is neither more nor less spiritually advanced than the person, which is not clairvoyant. There are people who are more spiritual open than others, but apart from this, they are not much different from people who are not clairvoyant. There are clairvoyant perople which are criminals and others which are sages, but most of them are in-between cases.

Many ordinary people may tell deathbed visions or near death exeriences when they aren near death. Many ordinary people experience seeing ghosts or UFOs. Children who remember spontanely a former life usually are no sages, but people who suffered a violent death in their former life (about 80% of them did).

Spiritual experiences are experiences some people like me erperience many times daily, some people experience less frequent and some don't experience at all, as some are spiritually giftet, many have some ability to sense and some are almost or fully spiritually blind. But this is some kind of sensory system it is not some kind of holyness!

Apart from this I think religion is simply how people try to make sense of spiritual experiences. It is not much different from other believe systems and the discussion about its truth is not much different from the discussion about autism. Temple Grandin who is autist and scientist working on autism once was told by another scientist, that she is wrong to believe, that autists usually have sensory problems as he didn't measure them. Of course these sensory problems are not something you could possibly measure but they are a subjective experiece which Grandin experienced and as she asked other autists they told her that they had similar subjective experiences. As non-autist the other scientist can learn about it by listening to descriptions of sensory experiences of autists, but not by measuring! Likewise a non-clearvoyant person can learn about clearvoyant experiences by listening to clearvoyant persons and not by measuring. while the sensory problems of autists are not the outside world, they are the way autists sense real things and this is the same for clairvoyant experiences.


Good and evil gods

It is correct that clairvoyant experiences are not the same as spiritual experiences. But that doesn't change the central point.

When I was 14 years old I sensed a marvellous spiritual being in the sky which I first believed to be god as it was full of love. My first thought was "And if it is evil?" The being knew this fear and answered "Come in and look it up yourself." I entered its mind and hesitated. It was huge! I couldn't possibly transfer all this knowledge to my earthly mind. Therefore I decided, that I will transfer only the answer. Than I spent some time in searching the huge mind for evil intensions related to me. I didn't find any. There were plans for my life that are difficult to master, but I saw the nessessity of this plans and therefore would do it. There were no evil intensions and therefore i was able to trust. Later I asked this being if it is god and it answered "No I am not god, there are beings much bigger than me." Later I talked to the being my god considered to be god and it answered too: "No I am not god, there are beings much bigger than me." This I did many times and after several steps to higher god I got bored. There is always a being much bigger than the being which someone considered to be god. Whatever this beeing which feels like god to me did to me was help. It is my group soul and I am part of this being.

More than twenty years later a friend of mine found a being that she believed to be god. It was huge too and there was some love. But when I talked to her, she said something, that seemed harmless to her but hit an unhealed wound in my soul, neither my friend nor me had known about. I wasn't able to cope in this conversation and said the opposite to the things I wanted to say. Afterwards I thought about it and gave a homework to myself: next time I will say what I really wanted to say. I did this but while we talked about other topics she said something that hit an unhealed wound in my soul and I said the opposite of what I wanted to say. This happened many times until I decided to take a break and to find a real solution to this unhealed wound problem the god of my fried seemed to use to disturb us. Some weeks later I learned that she was in the psychiatry because of this want-to-be god.

In the years after I encountered my god and before my friend found this problematic godly being my god told me about his soul history. It survived something which is called eternal damnation. Of course I am here and I am full of hope and love, therefore this dammnation came to an end. But I felt what it was like to have no hope no love and nothing which makes the life worth living. I knew this was only a remembrance of former times but we don't want to be back there! Therefore we work on solving the problems of the world and to find solutions to the seemingly unsolvable problems. In fact my 'god' turned out to be the devil. In the case of the problems of my friend it was of much help that I - and my group soul - learned from our soul history never to give up. There are breaks in the work and times to think and find new solutions. But if you have really big problems they get worse if you give up.

So from time to time I talked to my friend and we tried to heal her higher being which we called three year old want-to-be god as it behaved like a three year old and threw tantrums! In fact three year olds usually are frustrated becaus they want to do things for themselves. They want to grow more adult and indepent and it doesn't work properly as they still have to learn the tasks they want to do. Our giant baby had a similar problem, but its tantrums were somewhat to big for us. They were no fun. Still giving up was no solution and we thought about real solutions again and again. Once we talked about the Neal Donald Walch God. We had looked him up before in following the information which was attached to the book like an email attachment and noticed that he is not very big but a friendly and helpful beeing. To the god-question he answered like my higher beings "No I am not god, there are beings much bigger than me." Now we got the information, that he is related to the three year old want-to-be god of my friend and thought that this means that he has a similar soul history. But while my friends three year old want-to-be god didn't yet solve his problems the Neal Donald Walch God is full of light and love and therefore has solved many of the same problems the three year old still has and therefore he may have some solutions we need. We went to the Neal Donald Walch God asked him for help and he agreed. Of course we had to do most of the work ourselves - in fact our group souls did - but he knew what to do. From this day on it got better. Next time we talked, the want-to-be god wanted to help me with the work and I said "Oh he is four. He wants to help!" in a later conversation he said "I didn't do this. I don't do such things any longer". My friend said "Oh he is five. He said that was not me!" Up to now there were no new tantrums.

What I said about clearvoyant people holds true for higher beings either. There are criminals and there are sages - but most of them are in-between cases.


Sensing god in all

Charles E. Peck thanks for the definition. I never would have guessed this, as I consider all these phenomena secondary. To me the heart of spiritality is therapeutical work and the heart of therapeutical work is uncondentional love as Jesus mentioned.

If you listen to someone without judging him, at first he starts to solve his earthly problems. A friend of mine which works for the labor office as social worker who treats the people who have too many problems to successfully deal with the employment office. She simply listens to the people and does whatever is the best help for their personal problems. These are many as most of them are in this situation as they are traumaticed or have a diseases which medicine doesn't understand well and in most cases both. Additionally there are many problemes within the families involved and drug addictions. My friend in many of these cases thinks that there is no way how these people possibly could meet the requirements of the labor office as there are too many problems. So she is friendly and helps - and towards the end of her half year with one of them she often phones to me - I do some supervision - and tells me "I can't believe he found work and is able to do it!" And in fact in most cases I won't have believed that this person may manage all their problems good enouph to have enough strength for a real employment. We are both very happy to hear this.

The first therapeutic technique I learnt was Option, see This section reflects what I learned there. Years later when I read a book from Kohlberg, I noticed that this behavior, that I never understood is related to Kohlbergs moral stage three. I myself was a very small child when I passed this stage, and was at stage five as four year old as my parents explained every rule they gave to us children. Therefore it was far away when I tried to understand as adult other adults who still where at stage three or four of moral development and I had problem in understanding their thinking. I noticed that if someone was very unhappy all his live and than he may enter in a stage, where he would do everythin I tell him. In this stage I am careful not to tell him what to do, as I know some general prinziples how to solve problems and I have some knowledge about the world he may not have, but he knows best his own personal need and his own abilities and a solution has to fit both - the world and him. So in this stage I tell him again and again that he has to decide for himself. That's not up to me. This is stage three of moral development after Lawrence Kohlberg.

As soon as the person believes she doesn't need a human being to lead every step she imagines the source of the knowledge how to live a good life further away. Tat is step four of moral development and it is actually the same as Fear of the Lord (Wonder and Awe). Piety, reverence, knowledge and right judgement may be understood in this frame too.

Understanding is actually moral stage five by Kohlberg, where a person goes back to general principles to understand why the rules were made up and in which cases they don't apply.

With courage it is something different. When I was A child I noticed that most people have many fears. I didn't understand why this was the case, as I don't have most of these fears. I was always convinced that I would be able to cope with whatever life may present to me. Later when I looked at my soul history and within my work looked in the soul history of others I understood this difference better. About 5000 years ago was the rock bottom of my soul history. I had more problems than I ever imagined a soul could have and saw no way to solve them. Than step by step this changed, I was able to integrate lost soul fragments with different therapeutic techniques like meditation and while loosing others due to traumatic experiences. In the life where I knew Jesus something changed dramatically, which I didn't really understand upt to now. I didn't loose soul fragments any longer. When I lost parts of myself whenever some traumatic experience happened to me i had many fears. From the time one where I managed to retrieve and reintegrate them all, I lost fear.

Stephen seems to believe that definitions are not nessesary, therefore I still don't know what meaning he attaches to the expression "God Realization". Maybe it is the same as "Wisdom - seeing god in all" - but I can only guess. In fact I have some experiences which may fit this description. But they don't come to me by chance, as I simply have to tune in this way of experiencing the world to have it. In the weak form it feels like being connected by love to everything. This is why I believe that love is how we experience our connection to everything what is or God. If I tune in a bit deeper I see it as a light in the heart. This light feels very holy and full of love.



You're right. religion is a social phenomena. But spiritual practice for itself is individualiced to some degree. It is not the same as religion. Furthermore I don't want to adopt a given religion as it would feel to me like a much to small cage. They have all their merits but I don't like the way people reduce the world to something smaller to fit it in their worldview.


"Christ - to my knowledge never said anything about "God realization"

You said: "Christ - to my knowledge never said anything about "God realization" In fact, St. Augustine state unequivocally that "God is not what you imagine or what you think you understand." St. Gregory of Nyssa observed that "[T]he unbounded, incomprehensible divinity remains beyond all comprehension." In the beginning of the gospel of John ( ) I find the following words.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God; 2 this One was in the beginning with God; 3 all things happened through Him, and without Him not even one thing happened that has happened. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men, 5 and the light shined in the darkness, and the darkness did not perceive it. 6 There came a man—having been sent from God—whose name [is] John, 7 this one came for testimony, that he might testify about the Light, that all might believe through him; 8 that one was not the Light, but—that he might testify about the Light. 9 He was the true Light, which enlightens every man, coming into the world; 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him: 11 He came to [His] own, and [His] own did not receive Him; 12 but as many as received Him, to them He gave authority to become sons of God—to those believing in His Name, 13 who were begotten, not of blood, nor of will of flesh, nor of will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of [the] only begotten of [the] Father, full of grace and truth. 15 John testifies concerning Him, and has cried, saying, "This was He of whom I said, He who is coming after me has come before me, for He was before me." 16 And we all received out of His fullness, and grace for grace; 17 for the Law was given through Moses, the grace and the truth came through Jesus Christ.
To me this sounds like the seeing god in everything experience I wrote down above. But in fact I am convinced that the "[T]he unbounded, incomprehensible divinity remains beyond all comprehension." Why I don't believe that I found God up to now starts with this seeing God in everything experience. I found out that I could talk to the light within my heart and it will answer. After thinking about this a while I found out that I could enter this light and there is a room where several human beings are connected to. With time I learned more about it as I talked with other people who had the same experience and as I asked questions to the beings within this room. I was explained by the beings in this room I reached by entering my inner light that the room belomgs to the goup soul and every being connected to this room in my inner light is part of this goup soul. The name of my group soul is Tiuval, which is the same as the devil or the god Tyr. But Satan is a different being and Luzifer is not part of Tiuval too. I had some experiences in which I experienced myself as the whole group soul, which is a funny feeling like having a widely distributed body wich tiny dots beening my personality parts all around the world. I could zoom in to one of these beings and experiensce its life as if it was my life. Later on someone of my group soul there above told me that she believed in God too and that for her God is the light there above. I looked up found there a light that is in some way similar to the inner light in my heart but much more subtle than my environment there above the inner light. I was sceptic and asked the light if it is God and it answered that it is not god as there are beeings much bigger than him. I asked if I could enter in this inner light and was helped in bei ther beings from over there. Above there was some higher group soul which encompassed many group souls like mine. I went many such steps up and only found group souls who told me that there are beings much bigger than them. As there is always a biger group soul a God would be a logical end point of this row, but I didn't find him yet.


we are something like a body cell of God

Yes you quoted the sentence that we already are within the God. I think that we are something like a body cell of God. Each body cell has in the cell nucleus all the genetic information of the whole body, and it is doing its part of the work that the body does. But I am pretty shure, that such a tiny little body cell doesn't know what it meens to be a human being! Likewise every being hat in the center of its being the wholy godly potential. In my search I was searching for something like the brain of the whole God, who knows what it means to be God.

I found this brain for the group soul called Tiuval and some other higher selves but not for the whole God. The next paragraph is an example what it feels like to tune in a higher being.

The Akashic Chronicle is the subtle Internet with private accesses through one's own memory, comparable to the home computer. Tha akashic records contains parts similar to private websites and websites of bigger organisations like the group souls, servers, databases and search functions similar to Google. It is often described as a library with all knowledge of the earth. I received the order to repair the Akashic Chronicle in March 2004 and did it in the following months. This sounds like one person fixing the Internet on her own. However, it felt like I was an organization with many hundreds of employees. This was somewhat similar to having a widely distributed body. Sometimes I was the organizer, sending workers to where they were needed. I could zoom in on individual work groups or people. Then I was a worker repairing a main power line of the Akashic Chronicle. Afterwards, little energy was applied to the line, the hairline cracks were color-coded, and they were patched. I got to see the recommissioning of individual Akashic Chronicle Servers as an organizer. It was like a factory hall that has not been in operation for a hundred years: broken machines, dust and cobwebs. So it was cleaned, machines were checked and repaired, the data stock was checked for spiritual computer viruses and compared with other databases, where I witnessed various activities as a worker. I still find new Akasha servers, which I subsequently integrate. The Akashic Chronicle is not a complete database of all knowledge, otherwise one would not have to check for errors and gaps and would not be so excited about finding knowledge on Akashic servers that have not been active for a long time.

The "I" which did this work in fact was not Kersti Nebelsiek, as I am only something like a body cell of this being. But as I did this I felt it was me and therefore used the word I. Therefore my translation of this experience was simplyfied so that my brain could handle it. But it was interesting to tune in this higher being.


fear of death end the body

As you can read in descriptions of near death experiences, there are many different feelings in the afterlife. People my feel love for different reasons. Maybe they find a deceased relative and are happy to see him. Or they visit the light being and in many cases believe it to be God or Jesus. There is fear too. The may find some beings that look like demons - in fact they are usually very hurt beings which need help an healing to look better - and they may feel fear of these beings. They may find some realm that looks like hell to them and have fear. In fact there are many different realms which may have been models for our ideas of hell. If I find such a place, I wont feel fear but compassion, since I have a past and can remember. I'll tell them: You have problems? We have healers and know how to help you. Then I call for help and we will heal the hell and all the beings within. In fact the soul may feel every possible feeling in a near death experience. Therefore it struck me, that the fear of death is gone, when you leave your body. One thing my spiritual friends explained to me was, that the first matter of our Universe were the left overs of a former universe which fell apart due to too many internal problems. The quanta forming the matter are souls that split up again and again until it blindly clings to whatever it notices. This blindly clinging to everything is gravity. Now I think, that the fear of death is not a fear of the soul, but it is a fear of the matter, which feels the love of the soul and thinks it will lose this forever when the soul leaves.


Perspective taking

I don't know, what Swami Vivekananda wrote and said, therefore I can't really answer your question. It was interesting to read, that he tackled one topic that puzzled me for years and which I still think I didn't understand it completely. It was faszinating that I did in many cases experience the same being in the first person perspective and in the second person perspective in looking through the personality of some other person. It ist interesting to feel in first person perspective what it feels like to be a plant, an animal, a human being in radically different cultureres, demons, angels, archangels and godly beings. It is interesting to expand my consciousness to feel everything around me as being part of myself. In doing so I learned much about the way others think and feel, but also noticed that we tend to make nonhuman beeing more human while we try to tune in them and unearthly things more earthly as this is the only way we are able to grasp them a litte bit. As I read that you wrote your thesis in Frankfurt at the Oder, I guess that you speak fairly good German, therefore I link here my central German language text about what "I" or "me" means to me and others. (Die Organisation des Ichs)




N1. Kersti: Evil spirits are traumatized souls
N2. Kersti: God realization
N3. Kersti: States of humans and ants
N4. Kersti: The background-knowledge-feeling while accessing spiritual knowledge
N5. Kersti: This finding others is sometimes really special
N6. Kersti: The definists fallacy
N7. Kersti: UFOs
N8. Kersti: How the devil understands history - short version
N9. Kersti: Trauma and spiritual abilities
N10. Kersti: The relationship between experience, the ability to cope and the help a therapist could give is a complicated one
N11. Kersti: I am dreaming for years to have a spiritual University
N12. Kersti: When I was a child I thought that everybody is able to see and feel what I see and feel too
N13. Kersti: Intuition
N14. Kersti: The difference between religion and science
N15. Kersti: In reading texts as this one I am musing if different people exist in different worlds, as in my world time travel is possible
N16. Kersti: What we experience in our body, is not how the spiritual worlds are for themselves, but a translation made up by our nervous system
N17. Kersti: Suppression of the perception of different planes
N18. Kersti: Spiritual worlds
N19. Kersti: Vaccine proof and vaccine damage
N20. Kersti: I think there are different kinds of people who might be interested in the work of Swami Vivekananda
N21. Kersti: Preastronautics